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Icould then concentrate, not on meeting someone with whom I wascompatible, but was free to pursue my fetish for straight guys. Because I got involved in a long-term, open relationship in mylate twenties, finding sexual partners became a much lower priority. I like a guy who is verbally abusive, and me talking about myselfin denigrating language sometimes brings out the guy's natural sadisticurges and he starts calling me names, ordering me around, maybe evenslapping me, etc.-at least that's what I came for (and when I wantedthat kind of thing, I usually could find a straight or bisexual guykinky enough to be willing to let me go all queer for him this way, ifonly just for kicks-as well, of course, as to show who's the Man andwho's the fag).Īlthough when you're young you do what you think you're supposedto do, but by your mid-thirties you just want what you want and youdon't care what we're supposed to do or supposed tolike. I like to be real submissive for a guy likethat, sniffing out his sweaty nuts for him, kissing them all over,rubbing his dick in my face and telling him how queer I am, what asperm eater I am, how I'm not a man at all compared to him-shit likethat. This puzzling concern with the other guy's cock rather than my own, marks me as a truly submissive queer (I realize that it's hard for a regular guy to understand).įor some of these men, it's as much or even more about dominating theother guy than it is about them receiving sexual stimulation I seekout these dominant types. They retain theirheterosexual identity-that is, they consider themselves to bestraight-and think of the other guy, the guy blowing them, as the gay one in their mind, they're just using a fagto get their rocks off, and I'm willing, eager even, to give themrelief, despite the lack of reciprocity (or more precisely, because of the lack of reciprocity). I shouldprobably explain that in my experience, black guys who are primarilyheterosexual are more likely than white guys to just let a guy like mesuck them off in situations like this, as long as there is noreciprocation and it remains anonymous. The placewas especially frequented by horny, predominately straight, black men.Some of the younger ones were hustlers, but a lot of guys who wereolder, just went there to get a "no-strings," free blowjob.
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